Friday, 8 July 2011

The Great Nature Show.

Leave your, Game Boy,
 PC, and Wii,
 come with me,
away from all modern triviality.
Without plastic beams and plastic brass;
and all night clubs with writhing mass.
 Where birdsong is top of the charts
and creatures have the starring parts.
Hedgerow, stream, meadow and tree,
make up the stage scenery.

The curtain rises on part one  SPRING.
Music arrives on feathered wing.
Robin Hedge-sparrow, thrush, dipper, wren,
are trilling in hedgerow, wood and glen.
Skylarks liquid melody flows from high;
crystal clear tune from clear blue sky.

yellow hammer flutters among the trees,
singing, 'little bit of bred and no - cheese.
Squirrels and dormice in acrobatic acts,
with death defying leaps, they land intact.

In athletic games hares run and jump.
Toe to toe,  they grunt, hiss and thump.
The dipper curtsies and bobs enthusiastically.
What a great show; and its all for free.

The scenery changes with a more splendid hue.
More performers fly in.  SUMMER is due.

Now we have part two of the great nature show.
The stage radiates in a magnificent glow.
In cobalt flash, Kingfisher dives'
producing a fish; before your very eyes.

Dragonflies in limpid blue,
are on the aerobatic agenda too.
Moths and butterflies flutter gaily by;
sublime with splendour that makes the audience sigh.

Rabbit and hare run at a rapid pace;
performing in the great nature race.
But the faster hare reaches sixty miles an hour,
with long muscular legs as springs of power.

The stage struck pheasant struts in regal attire;
the cock of the north; plus any southern shire.
Watch Otter slide down the slippery bank.
An aquatic show of graceful, spiral, supple flank.

The morning mist lifts to reveal the next scene,
silvery laced webs bordering a golden sheen.
Its AUTUMN, part three, the trees wear a new suit,
the hedgerows and briar's offer free fruit.  

The dawn chorus strikes up' all the community sing,
Starling, robin, finch, sparrow, red-wing;
also the thrush, wren field-fare and tit.
Every species does more than its bit.

Jackdaw does his funny mime,
then mischievously turns to his thieving crime.
Raven does his funny walk,
Mallard laughs, 'Quark, ack, ack, ack.' He should talk.

Overhead there's an amazing sight,
Geese and Swans in arrowhead flight.
At dusk the choir gather again;
closing part three with a beautiful refrain.

Virgin snow covers the stage.
Part four WINTER. Frost bites, the winds in a rage.
Mistle-thrush provides the music now;
determined to out whistle the wind somehow.

Stoat dresses up this time of year;
the party gatecrasher in ermine fur.
Adults only for this part of the show;
signs of struggle, blood stained snow.

Through the still night air glides the ghostly Barn Owl.
Did he commit this deed so fowl.
It may have been Foxy; he's so sly.
He was seen skulking around nearby.

Was it Weasel? If you would like to know,
get out and about for the Great Nature Show.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

A wizard in the Farmyard

It was all peace and quiet in the farmyard, until a mischievous wizard passed by.
He waved his wand at the chickens, then at the pigs in their sty.

The farmer yelled,
'Hey! What you doing?'
He answered,
'Oh just having fun.'
And ran quickly around the farmyard, muttering spells on the run.

He laughed as he stood in the gateway. But the farmer could not see the joke.
He ran forward to catch hold of the wizard, who vanished in a puff of smoke.

Now the farmer got very frightened and rushed home to tell his wife,
of the scene that he had just witnessed the likes of which he'd not seen in his life.

They went back to look at the farmyard; to see what damage had been done'
by that wizard who had been there, saying he was just having fun.

The pigs were all in the pigsty; rooting around in the muck.
But instead of grunting like pigs normally do, they looked up and started to cluck.

The sheep were quacking in the sheep-pen,the ducks were mooing in the pond.
The cows were grunting in the cowshed; all this done by that wizard and his wand.

'Bar, bar, bar,' went the chickens,
'Har, har, har,' went the wife.
The farmer saw the wizards joke and laughed for the rest of his life.  

Wrong house :0\

I got drunk one night, staggered towards my home, entered a room. And shouted,
 'Where are you wife! What you doing buying all these tacky trinkets? Where's all our nice ornaments?'
The woman next door yelled,
'Get out of my house!'  :0\

Cocker Doodle.

Cocker Doodle saw the poodle chase the cat round the farm.
Cocker Doodle watched the poodle from his perch where he'd come to no harm.

Friday, 1 July 2011

Humpty Horace.

Humpty, Humpty Horace, the camel from Abber Dabber Doo,
was standing one day at an oasis, having a leisurely chew,
when a giant of a gnat came and bit him;
causing poor Horace such pain, that he shot off across the desert,
and swore he'd never go there again.
Poor Humpty, Humpty Horace; no wonder he's taken the hump,
Not only has he got two humps on his back, he also has a painful lump.

Micky Mog and Big Pat.

A mangy moggie called Micky Mog
would fight with anything; even a dog.
A great big dog, who they called Big Pat
never did like that mangy cat.
So she waited in ambush behind a log,
thinking to herself, 'I'm a clever dog.'

But Micky did what most cats do,
he jumped on a log to get a good view.
He spotted Pat crouched there, having a titter,
jumped  on her back stuck his claws in and bit her.

The pain and shock put Pat to flight;
she ran and ran until out of sight.
Micky hung on all the way,
Shouting things like, Yahoo, yee, hoolay!"

I don't know what happened after that,
because there's been no sighting of dog nor cat.

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